This week was pretty good. I was Mommy/Caretaker to 6 kids this week and I am happy to say that we made it through unscathed. Well…mostly. This week was great…we spent a lot of time at the pool and outside and the house stayed mostly clean!! I had to make an international call to Frank due to an “issue” (don’t ask because you won’t get any information beyond that) that was beyond frustrating and saddening at the same time. It is hard on Frank because he is not here to help or solve problems. I have learned the art of the word “No”. I don’t actually say it…I just leave it up to Frank. Okay, okay….I know. That is the art of avoidance.
This weekend was one to remember!!! Saturday morning we went to the zoo. I loved taking the kids to the zoo and I tried to let it be a light experience despite the complaints. Going to the zoo was actually quite difficult for me because it is the very place that Mike and I planned to take the kids when he returned from Afghanistan. But I did it, and it was time. I have realized that I cannot quite figure out little Michael…he is so very inquisitive and in love with EVERYTHING that he sees. I don’t know who he will be someday…but I know it will be someone great! What would occur next would be a broken down vehicle, several back and forth trips, and a day filled with trying to settle matters so we could enjoy our night. It was a relief to finally get to the Brothers of the Sun tour that night…despite the rain in the beginning. Our night ended with a crazy taxi driver and two very helpful police officers…I would write it all down but even I could not do the story justice. Let’s just say that the tigress in me came out…and by the end of the evening even the cop decided I was “spicy”.
Don’t worry…I wasn’t the one in trouble…I was just protecting all my loves with me and the cops helped me do that. I will never forget the corner of Church and Hill!
So I am a day late because of our crazy weekend…there is no new news on when my honey will make it home. This week he will be somewhere new and we won’t get to talk. I miss him…a bunch. Communication is becoming a little rare these days. The reason why that is so hard is because I obviously want to talk to Frank because he completes my day, but also because I am straight nuts. There is no other way to say it. I worry, even when I don’t have to worry that something will happen. I sent myself into a panic attack just worrying this week. I am sure someday that will diminish, as we get further away from losing Michael we get more comfortable with life, more comfortable with the fact that things will be okay, and better able to function. At least that is what I am telling myself today…it is what I want. For me, for the kids, and for Frank. I want to feel safe in life again.