We are nearing the fourth year without you. It doesn’t seem like it has been that long…I feel like I have so much to say, but no words can adequately express what is in my heart. So I will just say I knew the day would come where this would get harder than I ever imagined…and it is here. It was “easy” when the only grief I carried on my shoulders was mine and Olivia’s, or occasionally someone else’s if they “needed to talk”. Now I carry Michael and Landon’s too…I wasn’t ready for their awareness…for how hard it would be. For their tears, or their frustration. In some ways it is true what they say…time heals. But, what some may not know is that when you are raising babies that you were supposed to raise with their Daddy who has left this world physically, time continually rips open those wounds. I know we will be okay, because I held Olivia’s hand and guided her through the pain of awareness…but I just want to scream “I DON’T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN!”
We will never forget Michael…or any of his Fallen brothers.
We visited Michael’s memorial brick recently. Olivia quietly asked me to leave so she could talk to Daddy and pray. Michael sat by her side.